Many years ago - yes, MANY - I lived in blogland and it almost saved my sanity. Then, I got busy in a way I had always hoped for, and abandoned my dear blog. I wanted to go back, I wanted to write, but the extreme exhaustion and elation of having a baby in my life meant that weeks, months and then a year went by and my dear friend was forgotten.
I felt Great Guilt, absolutely. I felt sad and a little lost. But, most of all, I felt Happy. The reasons for my lack of time were what I, and my blogmates, had been hoping, wishing, praying for all that time. And after the first one, I had another and I wasn't Wishing on a Star anymore:: I was hanging on for dear life as it became a Shooting Star across my universe.
And then, I closed an email account. Didn't think too much of that. Didn't think I needed it anymore. Until I decided I wanted to blog again and realised I had forgotten my long ago password.
Crap.
Tried EVERY option I could as I didn't really want to part with my beloved friend. But here I am, starting again. Two-timing almost. Guilty again. But again ... Happy. I LOVE blogging and I have different things to write about now. I am not seeking so much now as finding. I am creating and being and believing and thinking and now, I want to be sharing. Perhaps a new home is a good thing. I can link back to that sadder, frustrated time, but I don't have to stay in it.
I studied and taught Art for years:: my natural me. However I lost a big part of myself when all that stopped as I climbed the school administration ladder and accidentally became the head of a middle school. But then the babies came and I have been avoiding returning to full-time work ever since! I am still studying, but arty/crafty-ness isn't a part of it. I have ideas and needs bursting out of me and swirling around in my brain and it's time to really try and fit it all in now.
My Stars are funny and inspirational and joyful and painful and everything and more. And it is for them that I need to be who I can be and, now, here is part of that again (yay).
BigStar is now 3 and LittleStar is approaching 2. I paint with them and we make things and collect things from the garden to make our 'deck sculptures'. I love to crochet when I get time and I am in the middle of making Easter Eggs as a healthy alternative to the chocolate ones I'm sure the Grandparents will heap upon them. I've been making clothes for BigStar's doll collection (and she is such a dolly girl!) and decorations for LittleStar's bedroom. I'll post photos as soon as I get them onto my new computer and I will write the 'how' for some of them if I can overcome my sometimes DEEP laziness!!
So, in the meantime, I am here. And I will come out of my Lurkiness to reveal myself to the many inspirational others I have found. I am so Happy to be back (did I mention that?).
Chat soon,
Stella
xx
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